Roger's Bitterness
by MoowitMi324
Summary: The night before Mimi's funeral, Roger finally loses his mind in the bathroom of the Life Cafe. WARNING: The F word is used around 52 times. R&R please


A/N: I got this one shot idea from the movie The 25th Hour (which happens to star Rosario Dawson). I will warn the F word is said around 52 times in this one shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT.

Mark and I sat at the bar of The Life Café. I was on my third beer and was aiming for getting about three more. It was the night before Mimi's funeral and Mark decided to take me out and let me cool off. Sadly, I wasn't getting cooled off. I was heated with anger, loneliness, and bitterness.

"At least she didn't kill herself, Roger." Mark said patting me on the back.

"Yeah." I said barely a whisper.

"You are going to get through this."

I got up and went to the bathroom without saying a word I couldn't take anymore of his voice. When I reached the restroom, I slammed the door and locked it, I didn't want anyone to come in and see me in the state of depression I was in. my hands rested on the sides of the sink and I looked into the mirror and saw my refection for the first time in days. In the corner of the mirror the word _fuck you_ are written in white letters.

"Well fuck you, too." I said bitterly. "Fuck you, fuck me, fuck Alphabet City, Fuck Avenue B, Fuck New York and everyone in it! Fuck the squeegee man, running around the city trying to clean windows, but only ends up making them even more dirtier than they were before. Fuck the cop that shot Collins. He only shot him because of his fuckin skin color. Fuck Maureen Johnson for being such a fucking whore. All she ever does is run around mooing at people and showing everyone her fucking ass. I'm sick of her cheating on everyone she dates. Fuck Joanne Jefferson for not trying hard enough to get Collins justice and fuck her for ever going out with Maureen. Fuck that motherfucker Benjamin Coffin The Third. He thinks he has the right to walk into the loft I found and ask for rent? That son of a bitch didn't even pay rent when he was living with us. Benny boy owes me money!"

I pounded my fist on the wall, nearly breaking the old red wall. I blinked a few times and looked at the words _fuck you _again

"Ha! Fuck me? No, fuck Angel for not fighting hard enough. He could've fought out the phenomena. Why did you have to fucking go, Angel? Why did you have to leave us in pain? Life when down the shitter after you died."

Tears rolled down my eyes, I realized how hard I was crying when I noticed my eyes were bloodshot red.

"Fuck you Mark Cohen, no, go fuck yourself, Mark. No matter how many times I tell you that you hide behind your camera, you still fucking do it. You think your silly little camera can solve every fucking problem in the world. Can it cure AIDS? Can your fucking camera get rid of racist cops? Can it bring people back to life? Oh I got another good question for you. Can your camera get you laid? You haven't gotten laid in two years. Fuck Mimi Marquez and her gorgeous eyes. Mark says she didn't kill herself, but she did, dammit. She fucking knew that needle was dirty and she fucking knew how those drugs were easy to get hooked on! I tried so hard helping her. I was going to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. Out of all the fucking human beings I want to go fuck themselves…"

I took an even deeper breath and slammed my head against the mirror. I looked deep into my own red eyes. For the first time I saw who I really was, but realizing who I was made my stomach turn.

"Fuck you Roger Davis. You should've killed yourself when you had the chance. You had everything in the world, but then you had to go and fuck everything up for a bag of death you dumb fuck! Oh no! you just had to be a true fucking rocker and fit in with everyone around you. Look at yourself now Roger! You're sitting here talking to yourself in a fucking mirror! Are you happy with how your life has turned out? I know the answer to that! Fuck no you aren't happy, you silly motherfucker!"

I heard a knock on the door. "Roger, are you ok?" asked Mark.

I cleared my throat quickly. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

I turned on the sink and splashed water over my face, letting the cold clear water wash away my frustrations. But It didn't wash away all my frustrations. I still had a few more _fucks_ to get out.

"Fuck New York, fuck squeegee man, fuck the racist cop, fuck Maureen, fuck Joanne, fuck Mark, fuck Angel, fuck Mimi, fuck Benny, Fuck April, fuck the fall, fuck AIDS, fuck this ugly ass bathroom, and fuck Bohemia. Most of all….fuck you, mirror. Fuck you very much."

I made another iron fist and smashed the corner of the mirror, erasing the _fuck you_. That night I decided I was going to change my life. That night the new Roger Davis was born.

A/N: yeah, this one is intense. Review and tell me what you think about it.


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